Ha! A whole week without blogging, I SHOWED YOU who's NOT addicted to blogging anymore. Now, after many harassing emails and IM's from my countless dedicated readers (Janice and Pam) I am back on the wagon. So let's catch you up to speed.
My husband was on vacation and the kids were up every single morning before 6 AM. And he's like, "How come when I'm leaving for work in the morning everyone's sleeping and now that I can sleep, everyone is up?" Good question hubs. Of course his first day back to work, he's heading out the door at 7:15...and the kids are sound asleep. He's talking to himself as he walks outside, "Oh yeah, yeah, where's everyone now? Daddy has to go to work -- doesn't anyone want to say goodbye to daddy? Nooooo, everyone's sleeping. OK, Bye kids....nice seeing you, have a nice day today."
Ava lost her other bottom tooth on Saturday morning eating a bagel at Dunkin Donuts. The only problem was that she was sleeping over my parents house that night, which meant my parents had to play tooth fairy. This wouldn't concern me if it weren't for my vivid childhood memory of the time the tooth fairy forgot to visit. Those who know me know that I can't remember what I ate for breakfast so the fact that I remember this is pretty impressive. I remember waking up, finding my tooth still in the pillow and giving the tooth fairy a piece of my mind. No joke, I was bull shit. Stomping my feet around my room saying, "I HATE YOU TOOTH FAIRY. I WILL NEVER NEVER NEVER LEAVE YOU ANOTHER TOOTH. YOU FORGOT ME. WHERE'S MY MONEY YOU NO-GOOD-ROTTEN &*%#&%&" (Ok, maybe not that last part) But anyway, I went running downstairs all flabbergasted and told my mother (in the excessively dramatic way that only I can do) that the tooth fairy didn't come. She had that "Oh shit" look upon her face and quickly explained that it had been a stormy night and the tooth fairy couldn't fly in the rain and wind. Huh. It sure sounded good, I processed the idea for a few minutes while I ate my Lucky Charms. Yup. Made sense, I could understand that reasoning. And for the record I did go back up to my room and apologize to the tooth fairy. But, no worries, the tooth fairy came to Chelsea (and made in and out without getting mugged) and left $5 which Ava then traded to my dad for a $10. No flies on that kid.
Last night I dreamt I was on the next season of MTV's oldest show"Real World" and I kept wondering if I should leave the show because it could be inappropriate as a public school teacher. When the camera panned across my face for my close-up I had orange mush all in my teeth from eating those Goldfish crackers (had I brought the kids with me to the show, why did I have their snacks?) I must have left the show cause here I am in my basement. What a shame, they had us set-up in one sick house in Can Cun. What can I say, I'm a dedicated public service provider.
Last but not least, my 6 year old is officially 6 going on 16. Her mouth and attitude these days are simply not acceptable. For the past week, I have done nothing but reprimand her for her flippant remarks. Does this happen in your house???? Luckily I have called in the reinforcements: Maddy. We were heading out yesterday and I told Ava she was not getting an ice cream from the ice cream truck and she replied in her screechiest, nastiest little voice, "YESSSSSSS, I AMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!"
I replied in my low stern voice emphasizing each word, "YOU. BETTER. WATCH.YOUR. MOUTH." I go storming off (ranting and raving to myself: "I'll show you, the LAST thing you'll get is an ice cream. I'll tell you WHAT...I will NOT have a little nasty bratty little girl in this house. You better watch yourself, you better NOT talk to me like that, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO") and I see Maddy right up in Ava's face with her chubby little finger pointing at Ava, "YOU WATCH YOUR MOUT AVA." I thought maybe Ava was going to clock her, but she actually laughed, which lightened the mood. Off we went, and no she did not get an ice cream from the ice cream truck (my mother wanted to know if I got her one in the end....ye of little faith).