Sunday, December 13, 2009

To Quote My Girl Whitney: "Crack is Whack"

On Thanksgiving Day, I was watching the Macy's parade and came to the sad realization that I will definitely never be a Rockette. Obviously, it would just be way too hard on the kids if I had to live in New York. Since then I have been making mental note of other careers I will never have in this lifetime. Mayor, Sea Captain, Civil Engineer, foot model, astronaut, and Mother of the Year are a few that come to mind. Tonight I realized that I can officially add CRACK-HO to the list. WHY you ask? Because it's 3:01 a.m. and while you're probably sleeping....I am just coming off the 5 hour "high" I've been on since taking 2 Mucinex-D tablets. They should really label the box a little more accurately. I was thinking something like: "Take this if your feeling a little stuffy OR if you'd like to put your mind on a never-ending elevator ride, where the doors are stuck shut, and ride up and down through various levels off consciousness for the next few hours while you jump, twist startle and flip-flop violently from side to side in your bed OR if you'd like your heart to race as if you're standing on the ice at the Fleet Boston North Center Boston Garden (what the hell do they call that place now anyway?) about to sing the National Anthem along with what's his face." Perhaps I would have opted for some saline spray had I seen the side-effects more accurately depicted on the box.

Now, back to bed where I can hopefully stay focused on the things I STILL might be in this lifetime....

Bagger at Stop & Shop?

Shoe Saleswoman?

a regular on Saturday Night Live?

published writer? photographer?

(guess I'm still a little high huh?)